Post numero uno Written with runny ink pen at 5 am.
DECEMBER
The darkness grips my heart like a predator to it's
prey. It creeps into my bloodstream and surrounds my body from head to
toe. It's cold. The icy hands of the past reach into my chest,
searching for my heart. They show no mercy. The hairs on the back of my
neck stand on end as the chill of a winter midnight sweeps my body. I
look at the clock. The hands, like daggers, are frozen on the twelve. A
symbol of the past that lingers and haunts m. Regret and hatred pump
into my veins. A result of the cold and darkness that already resides
there. I cringe and turn from the clock. I am sitting at a table.
Beautiful oak draped in white silk. In front of me sits a knife. It is
made of stainless steel with a handle of plastic. It looks so warm. So
welcoming. I reach for it. My pulse quickens as I bring it to my arm.
As steel collides with skin, the black ice around my heart and
dissipates into nothing. I finish. I lay the knife down and watch the
crimson rivulets trickle down my skin and onto the beautiful white
silk. Endorphins release and create a unique euphoria that leaves me
feeling almost dead. Almost as quickly as it comes, it left, snapping
me back into reality. I sigh. I pick the knife up from the table and
stand I take the knife to the sink and drop it into brown dish water. I
make the walk to the room that has seen so many of these nights. I walk
through the door and am confronted by a stranger. A girl. She's
scantily dressed with running makeup. The marking of a previous salty
release. I walk closer and touch the hated image of myself. I turn
quickly and walk to the light switch. I flip it down and darkness
washes the room. I see the silhouette of my bed. God, it looks so
comforting. I lie down and cover myself with the black comforter. I
close my eyes and whisper, "Tomorrow is a new day".
Yes
this is a representation of a real-life situation. Some of it was
fabricated, some is true. Do not comment/message me saying things like
"Zomg I'm so sorry" or "It'll be okay!". I'm quite past that chapter in
my life. This is just a favorite work of mine.